Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
