Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
