i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
