How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
