well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
