It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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