too bad you live with your parents still
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
