so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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