what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
