I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I deserve this hangover.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
