Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
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