I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I need a burrito and a hug.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
