Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
40s are totally the cure
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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