Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
