we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
