you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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