Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
