I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
