P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
