i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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