Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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