If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
