420 ftw
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
