so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
