lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
