I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
