i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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