Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
