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Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
