i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
