I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
