How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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