sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
