Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
