***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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