u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
