so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
