You're completely useless in the revolution.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
