I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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