just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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