every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
