Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
