If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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