Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
third nipple confirmed
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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