were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
