why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
