Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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