True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Randomize
