I accidentally had phone sex last night
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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