Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
