Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
