I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Did we literally take a cab across the street
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
