i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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