just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
